


Bloodguilt

by zephyras13



Series: Exiles [20]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Abuse of Authority, Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst, Betrayal, Drabble Collection, Gen, Gotei 13 - Freeform, Guilt, Present Tense, Regret, War, War Crimes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-07
Updated: 2012-07-07
Packaged: 2017-11-09 09:10:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/453798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zephyras13/pseuds/zephyras13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Renji didn't sign up for this, no way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bloodguilt

The Soul Society is complete chaos. Sasakibe-fukutaichou has been murdered by invading forces within Seireitei walls. The Quincy, as they are apparently called, are some old enemy from over two hundred years ago that Renji never learned about at the Academy. Yamamoto-soutaichou is more furious than Renji's ever seen him, even after three captains defected. They are not waiting like they did to deal with Aizen; the Soul Society now has days to prepare for a full scale war against the Quincy.

For now, Kurosaki Ichigo has been forgotten. The higher ups have understandably designated the exile problem as a lesser priority, with only a brief discussion since Sasakibe's murder.

"What about the Quincy before?" Hitsugaya-taichou had demanded. "Kurosaki Ichigo's comrade? Could he be involved?"

The older captains hadn't looked particularly impressed at what Renji had thought was a perfectly valid question, and Kurotsuchi-taichou had burst out into raucous laughter.

"Hah, that child?" Kurotsuchi-taichou replied scornfully. "Real Quincy despise shinigami. He's a freak just like the rest of them if he'd work with Kurosaki and Urahara. He'd hardly be a part of the Vandereich. But you'd be too young to know that, wouldn't you?"

" _Excuse_ me," Hitsugaya-taichou had replied scathingly.

"Enough," Kuchiki-taichou said sharply and at the time Renji remembered that he had been on good terms with Sasakibe (or on as good of terms as his former captain was ever on with anyone.) "We do not have time for your prattle. Let us move forward."

But Renji honestly hasn't thought about Rukia or Kurosaki in days, since Kira came to him with who had really been behind the _twenty-eight thousand_ disappeared souls in the Rukongai. Everyone knows now, it'd been brought up at the last Captain's meeting, and _no one has done anything_. Twenty-eight thousand slaughtered, even for the balance of the world, and everyone is acting like it's _okay_ , like it's normal. There are certainly captains that disapprove of Kurotsuchi's unauthorized action, but no one has called him out on it and if Renji has to hear the words "acceptable loss" one more time-

He can't sleep. Twenty-eight thousand shadows haunt his dreams and more than once he wonders what he got himself into. It's not like he was blind to the dubious morality of the choices the Soul Society makes. And even then he'd only become a shinigami to escape a life of horrific poverty and degradation in the first place. But he'd always believed that the Soul Society acted in the interests of the greater good. And, sure, he can see the argument for protecting the balance of the world, but Renji didn't sign up for this, no way. There was no discussion, no weighing of any sort of options. Kurotsuchi just _did it_ and Yamamoto-soutaichou didn't even punish him for his insubordination. They'd just...moved on.

Renji keeps his head down, prepares for the coming war, but sometimes it takes every ounce of strength he possesses to not rip Kurotsuchi's smug face to pieces. He can't even look at members of the 12th division anymore without wondering _Was it her? Or him? Were they one of the ones..._ Everyone knew that the 12th division had a different definition of morality than the rest of them, but this is...

He doesn't know what to say, what to _do_. He never thought he'd be powerless after becoming a captain, but that's exactly how he feels. He's too junior to have any say in major decisions, especially against Kurotsuchi-taichou, who's been a captain since before Renji was _born_. Central 46 still hasn't completely recovered from Aizen's massacre, but even if they had Renji doubts they'd do anything either. As horrible as it is, he thinks he's going to have to learn to live with this, to live with the knowledge that the this is one of the many ugly things the Soul Society does and by association, he is undeniably culpable as well. And he knows that short of their destruction by vengeful Quincy, they are never going to change.

But the balance of the world depends on the coming battles and Renji needs to get his head in the game. They have a war coming, not just against rogue captains, but a full-scale army of enemies who effortlessly breached their defenses and killed one of the strongest warriors in the entire Soul Society just days before. He can drown in guilt and worry about the fate of his oldest friend later. Right now he has to put aside his personal feelings and misgivings, and focus on the getting through the next few days with the fate of the world at stake.

But fuck him if he ever forgets what happened in those districts and how acceptance of such a horrific crime came so _easily_ to his peers.

**Author's Note:**

> So, getting into the Quincy arc obviously, which is why my updates are slowing down. Don't worry, I still plan on continuing this fic as regularly as I can, but it's going to be longer between parts because I have to wait for more stuff to happen in the manga before I continue. Please bear with me and review!


End file.
